welcome.

18+, nsfw, fandoms, bdsm, etc.

daddyslittlekhaleesi:

Yes please.
tickled-pink1:

dessert for Sir…

tickled-pink1:

dessert for Sir…

(Source: pensieri-sbiaditi, via alice-is-wet)

How to Find a Good Daddy Dom/Mommy Domme?

ddlgdoodles:

I realize that I have a post on this already but I believe it’s time to be redone.

In the past 3 years I’ve watched the DD/lg community thrive on Tumblr and I’m sure others that have been in the community longer can say the same. With an increase of curious girls discovering their sexual interests, there has been an increase in horn dogs calling themselves “Daddy”, more commonly known as Tumblr Doms. A large amount of young men hop into the community calling themselves “Daddy” without having any real understanding of D/s and what it requires. The same can be said for the increase in newbie littles, but many of these men take advantage of lack of knowledge in young women and use it for their own sake. Fortunately there are a lot of great resources out there on how to pick out the good apples from the bad.

Where can I meet other people?
As the community has grown, there are a lot more places to connect with other littles and Daddies/Mommies.

  • Fetlife:

Ageplay Personals -


Daddy - lil girl/babygirl Personals
Daddy Doms/Babygirl submissives
Daddy Doms and Babygirls
Daddy ~ girl Relationships

Have an idea of what you’re looking for.

  • Do you want someone to care for you but are not interested in submitting or a power exchange? You may be a bottom (if you only want to submit at certain times) or an ageplayer. Ageplayers are very similar to littles but aren’t always interested in a D/s dynamic because of the power exchange.
  • Do you want someone to help you explore your interests and fantasies, as well as explore with them?
  • Does the idea of giving yourself and your control over to another person excite you and make you happy? 
  • How much control are you willing to give to your Daddy?
  • Do you want a strict Daddy/Mommy or a lenient one?
  • Do you want servitude or a 50s household to be part of your relationship?
  • Are you into AB/DL? Then you’ll want a Daddy/Mommy who is open to this kink.
  • Have you figured out what your limits are? Do you want someone with similar limits or are you open minded but want someone who respects your limits?

These are important questions to ask yourself before even looking for a Daddy/Mommy.

Do your homework.
Read as much as you can. Read books, read well-known blog posts, check out reputable websites. Read about what defines and makes a submissive and what that role may entail. Read about different types of Doms/Dommes and what to expect from them and what responsibilities they should have. Get ideas of what rules you’d like to have in your life. Read about safety regarding anything that you’re interested in.

Soak up as much information as you can.

What makes a Dom different from a top or a kinkster?
 The answer is that a top is someone who enjoys dominating during sex or during scenes, but a Dom/Domme is someone who does it beyond the bedroom or special occasions.  A Dom owns another person and that in itself a very large responsibility and it’s a lifestyle. If you’re looking to commit your life with someone else and want DD/lg to be a part of your life, you want a Daddy/Mommy Dom/Domme. If you want someone just here or there or someone for the bedroom, you want a top or a partner into kinky sex with roleplay.


What makes a good Daddy/Mommy? How can I spot a predator?
When looking for a Daddy/Mommy, you should be aware of what makes Dom/Domme different than abuser. What qualities should a Daddy/Mommy have? What should you expect?
Well here are the basics:

This isn’t all though, there’s so much more that makes a good Dom/Domme and even more to make a good Daddy/Mommy. I advise reading What Makes a Good Daddy/Mommy or you can read Qualities of A Successful Dominant.

Aside from having certain qualities, it’s very important for a Daddy/Mommy to have knowledge in other things such as safety, how to care for another person, and knowledge in things that interest them or their little. Experience is important and comes in time, no one is born knowing everything. Check out this list, - 10 Things That New Dominants Should Know. When looking for a Daddy/Mommy, make sure that they’re aware of  these things. It’s not a bad idea to hear from their past submissives either.  If they have nothing to hard, they should have little to know problem telling you how to get a hold of these people through Fetlife or some other website. There’s no shame in asking questions for your safety or sating your curiosity and there’s also no shame for new Daddies/Mommies to ask questions from more experienced Dominants.

As I mentioned above, abusers are every where in BDSM, from hunting down dungeons to find newbies, to online and hunting for vulnerable people. It’s easy to prey on newbies because most of them are curious and just beginning their adventure. They don’t have enough knowledge yet on the lifestyle and it holds. Know your enemy.

Here are some things to consider:

  • If someone demands your submission from the beginning, they’re not a Dominant.
  • If a Dom/Domme needs to win you over through luxurious or frequent gifts, then they are not a Dominant, they’re a Sugar Daddy or a pimp.
  • If they need to use fear or manipulation to make you submit, they’re not a Dominant, they’re an abuser.
*Does the Dominant use expensive gifts to get you to do something you honestly don’t want to do?
* Does the Dominant restrict you from having friends over or going over to see your friends?
* Does the Dominant threaten to leave you whenever you tell him or her that you don’t want to do something?
* Does the Dominant make you feel guilty if you can’t or wont do something?
* Does the Dominant restrict you from contact with your family?
* Does the Dominant get upset with you when you try and talk about the problems you are having?
* Does the Dominant ever make you feel as if you are not good enough or that you can be easily replaced?
* Does the Dominant ignore your medical or physical needs (this does not include the inability to see to these needs due to financial difficulties)?

Longer list can be found at the-iron-gate.com at Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants

What are questions that you can ask the Dom/me? The following questions were provided by my Master as ones He would like a sub to ask Him.
  • What does SSC stand for? This is the cornerstone of BDSM, and S/he should be able to answer this (even if S/he professes to follow RACK instead, he should still be able to answer this, and give you a discussion of the differences in theories).
  • What is his/her training style? How does s/he intend to adjust it to your personality?
  • What is the job/ purpose of the sub?
  • What is the job/ purpose of the Dom?
  • If s/he was to use an implement on you, how would s/he gauge how hard s/he was hitting you?
  • How does s/he tell if you’ve had enough or reached your limit (physically or mentally)?
  • Does s/he use safe words?
  • If you are going to be intimate, would s/he be willing to be tested for STI’s and provide you with the paperwork?
  • What is aftercare?
  • How does s/he intend to handle sub drop if it happens several days later?
  • What are some munches and parties s/he has attended? Is s/he willing to give you the names and contact information of the organizers?

-Quoted from SubmissiveGuide by nan {SL}

1) Any man who can get off for more than a minute on the erotic image of female as whore is not instantly a Dominant.

2) Any man who finds it just impossible to entertain the idea of treating a woman like a child is not a Dominant.

3) Any man who is obsessed with “sharing his sub” is very questionable at best.

4) Any man who rants and rails about his needs, his wants, his desires, and tells submissives that they really ought to be just overjoyed to attend to his every want without regard for her own needs, wants, and desires is not a Dominant.

5) Any man who spends too much of his time denying the concept of vulnerability in a relationship, insisting that the submissive has just as much “power” as he’s got, is not a Dominant. He doesn’t want responsibility and he doesn’t even want to believe in the possibility that some responsibility might exist.

6) Any man who believes that he can ‘make’ a woman like whatever he wants her to like is not a Dominant.

7) Any man who believes that submissives are interchangeable is not a Dominant.

8) Dominants don’t have particularly fragile egos. They may get angry as hell with something that someone may have said, but they don’t spend any significant amount of time in internal anguishing about it. Men with severe emotional problems or personality weaknesses should not be trying to control someone else.

9) A man who would ‘contrive’ an occasion of punishment is not a Dominant. Dominants don’t have to “set things up” that way. They can use real experiences as real justifications for real actions.

10) Any man who can’t handle a submissive’s emotions is not a Dominant.

11) Any man who has lots of “slaves” is not a Dominant.

-Quoted from IdahoBDSM by COUNtess VelVEEta

Another way that you can tell a Daddy from an abuser or horny net geek (HNG) is through The Acid Test. You can easily find this on Google through many different people, but here is one: BDSM: Acid Tests for True Dominants by Dr. Spankenstein 
When in doubt, trust your instincts and use your brain.
Know your Submissive Bill of Rights:
  1. You have the right to be treated with respect. Not only do you have this right, you have the right to demand it. Being submissive does not make you a doormat or less of a person than anyone else. The word “submissive” describes your nature and in no way diminishes you as a human being. You have the right to respect yourself as well.
  2. You have the right to be proud of what you are. Being a submissive is nothing that should ever bring you shame or feelings of reproach. Your submissive nature is a gift and should always be a source of pride and happiness. 
  3. You have the right to feel safe. Being a submissive should not make you feel afraid, insecure or threatened. Submission is not about living on the edge or flirting with fear. In any situation you should feel safe or there can never be true surrender. 
  4. You have the right to your emotions and feelings. Your emotions and feelings come from you and they are just as valid as anyone else’s. You have a right to them. Those feelings, whether positive or negative, make you who you are and suppressing them will only bring unhappiness later. 
  5. You have the right to express your negative feelings. Being submissive does not make you an object that no longer has negative thoughts or concerns.Your concerns are real and you have every right to express them. If something doesn’t feel right, bothers you, makes you feel bad or you just plain don’t like something, say so. Failing to express your negative feelings could give the mistaken impression that you are pleased or satisfied with something that is not pleasurable or agreeable. 
  6. You have the right to say NO. Being submissive does not take away your right to have dislikes or negative feelings about things. If something is happening or about to happen that you feel strongly opposed to, it’s your duty to speak up. Remember, failing to communicate the word NO is the same as saying YES. 
  7. You have the right to expect happiness in life. Being submissive is not tantamount to being miserable, suffering or a life of despair. Your submission should bring you joy, peace and fulfillment. If it doesn’t, then something is wrong.
  8. You have the right to have input in a relationship. You are an active partner in any relationship you enter and have every right to contribute to it. You are submissive, not passive. A relationship that doesn’t include your needs, thoughts, hopes and desires is not one you should be in to begin with. This applies to friendships, partnerships and D/s relationships.
  9. You have the right to belong. Being submissive greatly involves the feeling of belonging. Many submissives have expressed that it was in discovering their submissive nature that they felt as through they “belonged” for the first time in their lives. You belong to the lifestyle and will eventually belong to the One. It’s in that relationship you should find the final fulfillment of “belonging” at last.
  10. You have the right to be loved and to love. Anyone who tells you that love doesn’t fit into a D/s relationship has never experienced the fulfillment of all it truly can be. Submissives are by nature loving and needing of love and have every right to expect this to be a part of their lives. It takes love to bring your submission into full bloom, so don’t settle for less.
  11. You have the right to be healthy. Health involves your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Any relationship, D/s or otherwise, that causes you to suffer physically, mentally or emotionally, beyond your limits, is abuse. There is no place for abusive behavior in a D/s relationship and it’s up to you to make sure those lines are not crossed.
  12. Being a submissive does not give anyone the right to harm or injure you in any way. The D/s community will stand behind you if you should encounter such a situation but you are the one who has to make them aware before they can help. 
  13. You have the right to practice safe sex. Not only is this a right, it’s a duty to yourself and others you may come into contact with at a later date. Sexually transmitted diseases have reached epidemic proportions and must be a concern to any sexually active person. Safe Sex is something you have the right to insist upon and protecting yourself should never be discouraged by anyone who really has your best interests at heart. 
-Quoted from IdahoBDSM
Communicate:
You should always start off by introducing yourselves and stating what you’re looking for. Okay, maybe you can do that after a proper introduction and seeing if they seem like they have potential. Tell them about your experience or what you’d like to learn. Ask them how long they’ve been a Daddy/Mommy, how many subs have they previously owned, what knowledge and experience they have in different forms of play.  Ask them what they’re willing to learn and what they’re looking for and see if these things are compatible. Discuss your limits - what are your hard limits and what are you curious about but lack experience in?
Get to know each other beyond the lifestyle. A good relationship of any kind starts from similar interests, and if you’re looking for a partner to have a romantic relationship too, this is essential. As I’ve said in the past, I personally believe the best relationships form from friendships.
 Meeting in Person:
Always meet in a public place, I cannot express this enough. Meet at a public restaurant or at a local munch for your safety. You are never obligated to go to someone’s house upon the first time that you meet them unless you’re comfortable with it. No matter what, your safety should be your #1 priority.
You are also not obligated to submit upon meeting for the first time, nor do you have to be involved in a scene. It takes trust to engage in play with someone or submit. You wouldn’t just let any one tie you up or beat you just because they talk the talk. You both have to build a connection and a foundation of trust. Anyone that demands your submission from the first few chats or first few meetings is not worth your time. They’re more than likely searching for a quick way to get their penises hard and fulfill their fantasies.
Other resources for you:
A list of books to check out courtesy of Fortheloveofasub 

(Source: delectatiomorosa, via porn4ladies)

von-evidence:

Dita Von Teese + Faceless

(via alice-is-wet)

atheistcum said: Hi! I've recently become interested in the DD/lg style of relationship, I have a secondary blog to some what advertise myself to a future Daddy! I saw your post on after care, and you mentioned a scenario where a lg would be shaking after wards. I don't think I completely understand the sexual side of a DD/lg relationship and what it involves. I was wondering if you would be able to explain to me what it typically involves!! ☺️☺️ Thank you so much Miss! 💛

ddlgdoodles:

Aftercare comes along during subspace and subdrop due to endorphine releases and sometimes even adrenaline. These are brought on by intense play scenes that either involve (rough) sex, impact play, anything involving strong amounts of pain (sadomasocism), etc. Not everyone will experience these just from sex but it’s possible to experience a mild form of it. It’s also important to note that not everyone involved in D/s dynamics have an interest in other aspects of BDSM, so no pressure if you don’t have an interest in any of the things I mentioned above.

Anyways, some signs of subspace:

The submissive may
become less verbal in communication as he/she
enters the more “feral” state of subspace. The
Top may notice that the submissve’s ability to speak and to use words to communicate how he or she feels is reduced, and the submssive may only communicate in grunts or moans (which,let’s face it, are difficult to interpret). There are often changes in skin tone; eyes may
roll back in the head. The body may go limp and floppy (which is at odds with the muscle tensing that
would generally be expected with physical punishment).
It’s akin to feeling high and because of this, the sub/bottom may not be able to make rational or safe decisions.
Subdrop, on the otherhand, is the endorphine crash and causes heavy emotions.

Sub Drop can come in many different forms. Sub Drop is the emotional and physical affects of the release and drop of endorphins in the body after a play session.  Most of what you read online are the physical aspects; the fatigue, sadness, aches and pains and recovery from marks. There is a more intense side of Sub Drop that gets very little attention because for each person it is different and describing how to recover can take many forms.

If not cared for, you could go into
depression
just from one play session. The endorphins and other hormones released during play leave your body in such a way that it takes time to rebuild the balance of hormones in your system. You could feel like you have a hang over or partied too hard the night before, you could feel lost and depressed for hours or days.
For example in terms of sex (since you asked), after rough playtimes with Daddy, I get extremely emotional. It’s not uncommon for me to start crying after cumming multiple times. It’s not that I’m particularly sad either, it’s just at that moment I feel such a strong urge to cry that it needs to be released and I break down. My body also shakes too and sometimes I even get extremely dizzy or go limp.
This usually cues Daddy to stop  and ask me how I’m feeling. Based on my answer we either pause or stop completely. He’ll ask me to speak my mind because I tend to ramble about my feelings towards Him. Afterwards He’ll kiss me and reassure me that everything’s okay, that he loves me, I’m special, etc.
However, in scenes that sex is not involved and pain is involved, sometimes a different approach is needed towards giving aftercare. That’s why you see a lot of physical things mentioned in my aftercare kit post. It really depends on the scene, the intensity, and what the sub needs to ensure their comfort and safety.
ddlgdoodles:

What  are buttplugs made of? What types of lube can be used with them?
Rubber - Water-based lube
Latex - Water-based lube
Silicone - Water-based lube
Glass - silicone lube, water-based lube
Steel - silicone lube, water-based lube
Wood - silicone lube, water-based lube
It’s best to avoid rubber toys since they tend to be cheap but if you’re looking for a beginner buttplug to start off with it and you’re low on money, they’re not a bad option. Just be aware that they’re not as sanitary as the other options even when properly washed. Rubber is a porous material so it’s easier for bacteria and chemicals to get trapped in these pores.
Never use silicone-based lube on silicone toys. The lube will eat away at the material and create pores that ruin the toy and make it harder to clean. Most silicone toys aren’t that cheap either so it’s not worth the fuss.
Safety:
If you see a plug made in China there’s a chance they are not phthalates-free which means you should avoid at all costs.
Avoid lubes that contain anesthetics. While you may think that having something that will numb you will make it easier to take the plug, it can be dangerous in cases of accidental injury.
If you’re having a tough time taking the plug, do not force it in. Use plenty of lube and work it in gently. If you’re feeling pain or it just won’t go in, there’s a chance that you have a toy that’s too big for you and you may want to work your way up with fingers or beginner plugs.
Always wash your plugs after each use. Anti-bacterial soap and warm water will do just fine with water-based lubes, other lubes may require a bottle of a toy cleaner.
For more information please visit TheHealthyBear.
Where to buy tailplugs?
Kitten Cream - teddy bear, kitten, puppy, and bunny tail plugs
Crystal Delights - Fox, wolf, kitty, and pony tails similar to MLP (come in several colors)
Fetishzone - Non-fur tails
Lovehoney - Horse and bunny tails
kittensplaypen (Storenvy)
Jenny Landis (Etsy) - Bunny and kitten tails

ddlgdoodles:

What  are buttplugs made of? What types of lube can be used with them?

  • Rubber - Water-based lube
  • Latex - Water-based lube
  • Silicone - Water-based lube
  • Glass - silicone lube, water-based lube
  • Steel - silicone lube, water-based lube
  • Wood - silicone lube, water-based lube

It’s best to avoid rubber toys since they tend to be cheap but if you’re looking for a beginner buttplug to start off with it and you’re low on money, they’re not a bad option. Just be aware that they’re not as sanitary as the other options even when properly washed. Rubber is a porous material so it’s easier for bacteria and chemicals to get trapped in these pores.

Never use silicone-based lube on silicone toys. The lube will eat away at the material and create pores that ruin the toy and make it harder to clean. Most silicone toys aren’t that cheap either so it’s not worth the fuss.

Safety:

If you see a plug made in China there’s a chance they are not phthalates-free which means you should avoid at all costs.

Avoid lubes that contain anesthetics. While you may think that having something that will numb you will make it easier to take the plug, it can be dangerous in cases of accidental injury.

If you’re having a tough time taking the plug, do not force it in. Use plenty of lube and work it in gently. If you’re feeling pain or it just won’t go in, there’s a chance that you have a toy that’s too big for you and you may want to work your way up with fingers or beginner plugs.

Always wash your plugs after each use. Anti-bacterial soap and warm water will do just fine with water-based lubes, other lubes may require a bottle of a toy cleaner.

For more information please visit TheHealthyBear.

Where to buy tailplugs?

(via daddyslittlekhaleesi)

thegreatpotatoking:

This is the single most important invention of 2014. No question about it.

(Source: pedalfar, via mazarin221b)